So you wanna be a Snapchat influencer?

Never mind that you can’t put links in your posts so that anyone can click and buy your stuff or leave you their email, who wants some of that FULL SCREEN engagement? Oh yeah! rofl!

Ok, so in case you haven’t heard, DJ Khaled came from nowhere to randomly being the most followed person on the platform!

So, here’s a step by step guide so you can be as big as him!

1) Spend years in your bedroom learning sound production, working long hours getting your demo tapes picked up and collaborated on by bigger and bigger artists

2) Have a string of platinum selling records- Khaled had chart hits for nearly ten years before he picked up Snapchat so don’t be lazy! (pro-tip: don’t skip this step it’s important!)

3) Now that you’ve collaborated with the likes of Snoop Dogg, Drake, Lil Wayne, Chris Brown Nicki Minaj, or T-Pain (any combination of these will do, don’t stress lol) grow hundreds of thousands of followers across other platforms and make sure you’ve had a lot of press in major publications (again, I know a lot of you will try and skip this step but you can’t if you wanna be king/queen of snap! lmao!)

4) Start a Snapchat account. Make sure you put out good quality content regularly! Use humour and vary your posts! You may not be able to rent a speed boat (tee-hee!) but you can still make posts people will love! 😍

Still reading this??

The above is the type of absolute garbage you read on most marketing blogs, except they would only give you the fourth step and conveniently ignore the three steps where Khaled worked his ass off to get in the position where he’d be listened to and could grow quickly.

(And if you write this sort of lazy stuff, f*** you for misleading people)

Fill in the above for crap like:

– How to master PR like Trump

– “How we got 2,000 users on launch day and all we did was have a 20,000 strong email list, the top 20 influencers in our space who we know personally share it, a big old paid media spend and a founder who has lots of press contacts”

I try and never talk about growth hacks I do which happen because of my personal advantages — everything I give to you I intend for anyone to pick up with no list, no contacts, no followers etc

Half the time other marketers are willingly deceiving you, the other half they probably don’t even realise they’re missing the 1st steps

As ever, traffic is the key. Content comes second. (And I’m someone who has launched 5 six-figure content-related businesses)

Stay woke

I love you all